Saturday, May 8, 2010

Zombie Nazgul Horse




I call it that, because it IS a zombie. It IS undead. But it's not your typical... horse zombie. Kind of like a ghost and a zombie combined? Physical body, ghost like appearance... undead. That's all I can think of.

Oh, and he's one of my "fursonas".

You can't really call it a fursona, since the word fursona is more, to me, of a description of what I would like to be if I were an animal or anything else. ELUS Lanke, when in Death Steed form, is a fursona. Nakira's unicorn is a fursona. Kodisku used to be a fursona. Even the Oracle and her giraffe form is a fursona of mine. But a fursona really doesn't cut it for this guy, or his other three modes. He's more of a spiritual type, the thing I see when i let my mind wander and my spirit whisper to my head what to see. It's kind of like a deep down psychological image of myself. Something I've always _wanted_ to be, but couldn't unless I was in the spiritual realm of dreams and imagination. The "animal zodiac" is the closest thing I can call it, or my totem animal. It literally _is_ me, on the inside, how I see myself.

I've always thought of myself as a high-strung, yet somewhat kind mustang. You know, I can feel it in my spirit sometimes. A wild and free adventurous spirit just waiting to get out. It just wants to claw right out of me and run around free, wild, and roam the world without a care to what others thing. It's what I really am inside - no, I'm not saying I'm a horse. I'm not a horse; I'm a human woman. But it's... it's not a person or an exact /spirit/, per say, but more of a feeling. An emotion, a desire... a longing. I've always thought this longing as the "spirit" so described in wild horses... and have always wanted to be that type of person to let it all out and just write, draw, gallop, run, scream, make noises, and do anthing I want without restriction. The thought of racing through the wild open terrain excites me. I love driving in cars and watching the grass roll by, and often wonder what it'd be like to live out there (besides knowing the luxuries I have right now would be awful to live without). Exploring is in my nature, in my blood, and so is running wild.

It's just a shame society today has tamed me down into what I feel and look and act like. Yes, such a shame indeed. So sad.

So, back on topic. There's three of them, these 'spirit creatures' or so they call them, other than him. The normal, regular horse I personify myself as when I'm at peace or myself, in perfect balance; the harmonious calm and "zen" state Clydesdale, and the high-strung, temperous Arabian stallion.

My first one, the normal one, is a normal working horse, grey (white) in color, with a black muzzle and blue eyes. He likes to work, although is high spirited and sometimes gets out of the way of his owner (lmao!). I want to say he's a Friesian, but that would be lying to you. He's most likely a Lipizzaner, or one of those generic horses I never know the breed of that you see in movies. Yes. He makes an excellent war steed, and is the middle of the two below. Sometimes I have to be forced to keep walking, to push myself through things, so I picture him being lead by his reigns by the Keeper while being encouraged with a pat or so.

The second is an all-white Clydesdale. I also wish I could say this breed was another (my favorite draft breed is the Shire), but alas, I cannot. He's the gentle, kind, and humble roman-nosed type (not that there is a such thing as a flat-nosed Clyde, no). He's very quiet and humble, not as wild and rambunxious as the other main horse and tends to be me when I'm at rest or in peace with God, or just feel like working/being still. He's the kindest and gentlest of all three, and is sometimes a bit soft, and has a nice pink nose. He always obeys his master and sometimes gives free rides to others.

Then the third one... I don't know why, but the dish nose of an Arabian screams arrogance and pride to me. This fella is a white Arabian with a black nose, and always has his tail high and mighty. He's often there when I'm feeling haughty, or contempt for someone. He likes to parade himself around and say 'look at me! look at me!' and resists _all_ authority. He never listens to Jesus, and is often quite the frisky fighter. He doesn't like to calm down and often gets me into trouble, since the feeling starts with a little prick of Pride, then leads to Arrogance, frustration, anger, and eventually heartache. Stay away from this stallion if at all possible.

Then, there's this guy. The new guy. The Nazgul Beast.

I see myself as this stallion only when I'm hyper-tense or all my emotions have to remain bottled up inside me. It's not an "sad" or "angry" thing either. It hardly ever applies to those emotions. In fact, it goes more for happiness and crazy spotenaity more than depression and angst. The first time I saw this beastie was when I was with my friends, hanging out and having a good time. They had a rave, and we were inside the car just driving around. The music caused so much energy to build up inside me I let my mind wander and saw THIS thing.... just rampaging about, destroying things... to techno music. I honestly loled when I thought about it, but man can it do some damage!

Those teeth just rip and shred anything to pieces. I guess its a good saying that any emotion, when bottled up, can lead to some serious damage - whether positive or negative. I've seen him lately, probably because I've been really hormonally out of it due to... /something/, and I usually get really pissy and angry all the time around this time frame. So instead of unleashing the fury on other people like I used to do, something happened and now I just imagine this thing rampaging around for me... doesn't always help, but hey, it's better than destroying friendships, right?

Lol.

He has no pupils when I see him, but for the sake of drawing he must have pupils. I don't know how he'd look without them when I draw, so it's one of those 'you give it this, it looks more accurate even though it actually is far from it' type deals. Artistic liberty, I suppose.

I call him "Nazgul", or use that term to describe him, even though he 1) has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings, and 2) Nazgul, I don't think, is the right term. It might be, because now that I look it up, they DO pop up under the term nazgul, but still... its the nazgul in the other realm; the white kings, the ones Frodo sees when he slips on the ring with the wraith's right in front of him: http://www.herr-der-ringe-film.de/v2/media/galerie/sonstiges/NazgulSW.jpg . Nazgul isn't the right term for them, right? Either way, I can't stop describing him as a "Nazgul Horse", even though I 1) don't like assosiating characters of mine with other preexisting characters/species, and 2) he was never based off of an actual Nazgul, but popped up one night in my head with no other information than he was white, flowy, ghastly, and had sharp teeth like a mofo. So yes. I didn't copy him from anything, and his name isn't something I'm really happy to mention, but it has to be since he IS what he is.

And... he's not really evil, by the way. More just a fit full of emotions that can't go anywhere. He doesn't mean to or purposefully rampage everything, he just does it because /that's what he does/. Nothing's personal here, except maybe when I'm angry, but that's not him, it's me. He's the one who just rampages around, having to get this emotion out of his system before he explodes... yes. Can change in size depending on mood/amount of pending energy.

Characters are (c) Copyright Me, ERA Lanke, 2010. Not that anyone'd steal them, they're really to simple to steal or reuse or whatever, and don't count as characters. The only one I don't want to see around the internet is the Nazgul stallion, but that's just me. So please, don't steal.

RAAAAAAAAAA! He says, RAH!

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